This blog post is a transcription of The Dr. Ali Griffith Show Episode 5 – Subscribe to Positivity. If you’d rather listen than read, scroll to the bottom to find links to the episode!
What’s up, what’s up, what is up? It’s your girl Dr. Ali Griffith and welcome to the Dr. Ali Griffith Show – Mindset, Meditation, and Motivation. I’m so excited to have you with me here today as we finally tie into the unsubscribing from negativity and moving towards subscribing to positivity.
I want to remind you that now’s a chance for you to leave your reviews for me. I’m going to need you to listen to some of the other podcasts, or if you’ve listened before, take some time out and leave a review. I am putting together an au-mazing prize package where I’m going to pull a few of the reviews. First, I’m going to read some of them in the next podcast I record, so that I can let you guys know that I’m seeing your reviews. So everyone definitely leave your reviews so that you can get the opportunity of me mentioning it, or just letting you know that I’m so grateful that you’ve poured into that. I’m also running a contest where I’m going to enter your name into a box and you have three au-mazing gifts you can win. You can either get the grand prize which is a gift card, the second prize is going to be an autism watch (it’s super dope and really really cool), and the third prize is an au-mazing t-shirt (whether it say be au-mazing or au-mazing gift). When you leave a review that’s your automatic entrance into the contest!
So let’s talk about subscribing to positivity. On the last podcast, I gave some examples on why it was so important for me to unsubscribe from the negativity that was around me. I got so tired that everywhere I looked, every place I went to, it just seemed like it was crowded with negativity. It was crowded with the bad news, it was crowded with people thinking the worst out of the worst. For me it got and of frustrating, because here I am as an autism mom, I already have this challenge that I’m dealing with where I don’t know how he’s going to be when he comes home from school, or when he wakes up in the morning I’m not exactly sure what responses I’m going to get for the day with communication breakdowns or whatever is going to happen that day. Dealing with my own challenges and then coming out to the world, or going around to people in the world, and constantly being bombarded by negativity … it got so frustrating. I started to realize it was affecting my parenting. It was affecting my parenting, it was affecting how I engaged with my friends. Honestly it was just a place I didn’t want to be in anymore. So I used some of the strategies – go back and listen, you’ll hear some more about what it takes or what you can do to start to unsubscribe from negativity – but then I couldn’t stay in just this place of homeostasis, in this place of “I’m just there.” I don’t know if any of you are feeling that way right now where you just feel like “I’m just here, I’m not negativity, I’m not positive, I’m just here like a block.” So I wanted to leave you with some of the things that I use to help me to move from those zones of negativity, and now how do you move toward that other side which is POSITIVE.
I had to remember the first thing I needed to do was always always SELF WORK. What is it that I need to do within myself so that I can start identifying what exactly that positivity looked like to me? I had to know, well, did I want to be this happy cheery person? Did I want to be always thinking good thoughts? I didn’t want to be this ridiculous person walking around with a big smile on my face that was fake. But I know inside I needed to start to learn some things that would allow me to really start approaching life differently. The one thing I noticed was when I had a positive mindset, more positive would come. What I would notice specifically was when I shifted my mindset towards autism, and I did the personal work, and I started to realize that I couldn’t stay with this attitude of autism being something being dawned on me like the worst thing ever. I had to start learning that this child, my child, is a GIFT. I started to look for the things that he was doing better, or he was doing different, and that he had for his strengths. So if these were his strengths, why not look at that as a space of positive instead of looking at the things that he couldn’t do?
This is some of the work I stated to do with myself, but the key really was ME. It was how I wanted to feel with parenting. I looked back at it, and I realized that parenting at the beginning was not so easy. I don’t know if you remember when we had to get up early in the morning … and I was saying to myself, “they say every two hours is fine for breastfeeding, and I’m like but I just put my head down to sleep and here we go and it’s time for breastfeeding again that wasn’t two hours it felt like just an hour … because there’s a half an hour to prepare, half an hour to get them ready. By the time they’re finished drinking for that half an hour and you put them down, it’s like an hour goes by and it’s time to do that again.” So that part of parenting was not fun. I didn’t want to get stuck in only thinking of what was not fun. When I noticed that he was doing things differently and I was comparing him to everyone else, it made parenting not fun. So I had to shift my mindset. I had to start doing the work within myself to realize what does it look like for me to be in this situation of parenting – or it could be a job, or it can be starting a business – what does it feel like and what do I want it to feel like within myself? That began my first step. my first techniques/strategy towards subscribing to positivity. First looking to how is it that I want to feel and what can I do to shift my feelings from that place of doom – where everything was on me, where I felt like the world was on my shoulders, where literally I felt dark – to now coming to a space of light. And light felt GOOD. Light felt good on the outside, it felt good on the inside, it felt good with the responses I was getting, and it felt good when I was with myself during those quiet moments.
Another thing I had to do was to begin to shift the things that I was saying. I actually had to create a list of shifters. They’re things that I use when immediate things happen in life. I don’t want you to think that I’m telling you that bad doesn’t happen – bad is going to happen. Things you don’t expect are going to happen. The unexpected, the derailment off of where you were going, the “I came home and the worst is upon the worst.” – but when those things are happening, how do we shift out of that? How do we not allow that to continuously build and take us to a space of where we don’t want to be? Like physically, mentally ,emotionally, spiritually, you know this is not the best space for where you want to be in your life. I had to create a list of shifters. Here’s what my shifters look like: it look like I can be on a beach with a piña colada in my hand every single day. That’s my visual. That’s where I am when things start to go array, when the unexpected starts to happen, when Zachary starts to have his breakdown … immediately I start to think, “ok on the beach piña colada in my hand.” I can see it, I can feel it, shucks, I can even TASTE it. This is the moment that I’m starting to shift myself out of whatever is happening at that moment.
So take some time out and create your list of shifters, use visuals, a lot of people use affirmations. I like affirmations because it helps me to take back my POWER. The affirmations I use go with “I am____.” This may come from the training with motivating the masses, my personal development training, me receiving my own coaching, etc. Phrasing “I am ____,” with where I want to be. I am power. I am joy. I am light. When I own those things, when I say those things – even when I’m not quite feeling it, even when I’m not quite at that place of believing it – I say it until I begin to feel that shift towards it. So use your visualizations, use your words. Then sometimes you have to physically remove yourself and place yourself into light. Another thing I do is sometimes when it’s really gloomy on the outside – like you look outside and it looks like dark, dreary, the WORST. I’m not sure if many of us like those days, I know I don’t – and I realized that the weather plays a huge affect on my mood. I’ve noticed that for Zachary as an autism parent, I’ve noticed that for me, I’ve noticed that for my clients – that when you have a physical environment where outside is full of drear, gloom, snow, rain … it affects your mood, it affects how you feel. So I would put on the brightest color. Yes, I would put on yellow, and I would put on pink, and I would put on all these vibrant colors so that I could physically feel that visual shift that’s happening around me and I can create a shift out of the environmental, or the gloom that is around me in terms of weather. I also have a bracelet and these bracelets I wear on my hands and they will be something visual that sometimes I just look at it and it makes me smile. I have a client that told me that she has her nails done, and when she looks at her nails they make her smile. She actually makes her nails into something that is a visual reminder for where she wants to be for subscribing to positivity. So use some of these strategies, think of which one will work best for you, and start subscribing to where you want to feel and be. Subscribe yourself to POSITIVITY.
The last thing I’m going to leave you with, because this was definitely one that had to jolt me out of reality, was shifting my environment in terms of people who I surrounded myself with. Now I spoke about the other end when I spoke about unsubscribing from negativity last week where I had to remove myself from marriages, relationships, conversations with my mom, or other really close people who I really love and admire … but it was just not a good space for me to be around. If you’re going to remove yourself from that, then you want to put yourself around the people who have that light about them. It’s something about them in which they don’t have to say much, they just have to just BE and they just make you feel good. I’ve been told before that I could just come into a room and I don’t have to say much. and they can feel my light. Now that didn’t take overnight to happen, TRUST ME. I went through a lot a lot of work. Working on how to create this light, and that light I spoke about in some of the examples earlier. When you listen to things like this, like this podcast – create a list of other podcasts, or other shows, or other things that you need to listen into your ears that will help you to shift out of things. So as an audiologist I’m super big into listening. Audio is the epitome for me. What you hear resonates throughout your system as wave forms. Let me not get too geeky with you because you know I can take this all the way to geek time, to the geekdom level! Just know that the sounds you hear resonates through the body. The sounds that you’re hearing with me now when you hear my meditation track, you’re going to see how it resonates through your system and it can help you shift from feeling negative and moving towards light – moving towards that space where you want to be, subscribing back to positivity.
Besides things that we’re going to listen to, we also want to have control over, or we want to be around people that are light. I mentioned it before how some people choose to be around me. Sometimes I am NOT the light because I am going through moments. I’ll be so real, and like – I will be dealing with Zachary going through an airport, and my mom was having her concerns, and friends are texting, and everyone is wanting something from me at that moment, and I am at that moment NOY light. I actually am as far away from light as possible. But when I start to recognize it within myself (and this is the part where I really want you to tap into) that you have to be able to see and feel what feels negativity is in your soul and your spirit, and then what feels positive and how do you get yourself towards that. Sometimes it’s just by being around that circle, that space, that group of girlfriends. I’ve got my girlfriends that can hold me down when I’m feeling array. I have places I can go, I have people I can call. I have a list of those shifters that I use in my life continuously. I use my mom too, because she’s a praying woman. So when I start going off into an array, even though I spoke about negative times, that woman can pray me back into positivity because she takes me back into that stage of GRATITUDE. Once you’re in gratitude, you can’t go anywhere else but staying in the light.
The last thing I needed from myself, and I’ll explain to how that happened, was I got coaching. I had to realize that I couldn’t do it within my immediate circle. They were good for the basics, but for the really, really, really tough things, I needed a coach to help me through that. I needed to learn the tools and the techniques – some of what I’m sharing with you now. There’s so much more in to getting to how to keep this place of light. So don’t discredit coaching because you don’t know about it. I didn’t know about it before either! All I knew about was going to school, getting a degree, and going to make money. I didn’t realize that there were people out there that have the capacity to help me to learn the tools and techniques to get through these moments that are increasingly challenging, because its called #LIFE. See within yourself who do you need to be around? What do you need to listen to? Do you need a coach? If you do, definitely look into my website. I do have coaching positions for a selected few if we are in alignment. You can go to www.draligriffith.com. If it’s not me, then find someone else that resonates well with you that you know this is where you need to help you to take you towards your next best self. Now THAT is subscribing to positivity.
I want to thank you for just hanging out with me today and just listening to this. I want to thank you for allowing me to fill your ears with joy and stories of my life. Thank you for subscribing to the Dr. Ali Griffith Show, and also for sharing this with your friends. So definitely subscribe, definitely rate it and review it, and then go out there and share this with people out there. People don’t know what they don’t know. So if they don’t know it, then they’ll stay stuck where they are. And YOU my dear, YOU can make a difference between a day being full of gloom, and a day having possibilities of better. Thank you for joining the Dr. Ali Griffith show. Now go out there and be AU-MAZING in your thoughts, your words, and your deeds. I want to thank the Much Better space for letting me record today in their facility. Definitely follow them at wearemuchdifferent.com
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