This blog post is a transcription of Episode 6 of The Dr. Ali Griffith Show – From Fear to FREEdom. If you’d rather listen instead of read, the links to the podcast are below!
What’s up what’s up, what is up? Welcome to the Dr. Ali Griffith Show – Mindset, Motivation, and Meditation. Today we’re going to talk about from fear to FREEdom. I’m so excited to have you here. Hopefully by now you’ve checked out the other episodes, from Unsubscribing From Negativity, to Intro to Dr. Ali where you get to know a little about me, you should be hearing it by now. So take this time out to subscribe so that whenever I drop or release a new episode you will get first hand information about it. Also take some time out to leave your rates and reviews. I have a cool contest going on right now, at the time of this recording, where you’ll be eligible to win a watch – a cool autism flex watch, or you can win an au-mazing shirt, or you can win a gift card. So make sure you’re subscribed, that you’re leaving us some rates, and definitely leave the reviews. I look forward to reading them! When you leave a review it means you’re now eligible to win one of those au-mazing gifts.
So as we step into from fear to moving towards freedom, it makes me think of how I felt just starting this today. Starting this podcast has just been such a rollercoaster of emotions, and what really took it to the next level where I was so nervous about releasing it was FEAR. I was nervous of what others would think, I was nervous about letting my life out and having everyone having access into who I am, like the REAL Ali. Even the mistakes, even the mishaps and all of the bloopers, you get to see what the real Ali is all about. For most of us, I know for me, it’s kind of tough because we go through the world and everyone doesn’t get to see the behind the scenes of what it really takes to get to where we are. The reason why I brought up fear is because in almost every amazing major step that I have made, and every major progress and win that I have received, have been done through moving through fear. Now don’t get me wrong, before we have the fear, before I had the fear, it came with a lot of hesitation. It came with a lot of questioning of whether it’s the right or wrong thing to do. What others would think? Then I just started to realize that over time if I kept myself stuck in fear, then nothing would’ve gotten accomplished. Nothing would’ve happened.
Fear can really hold us back from who we truly are if you really think about it, because we allow our own selves to say that we’re not good enough, or to tell us that others will say something negative. For some reason we’ll always move toward the negative when we think about what others will think. At least that’s what we do initially, until we start to learn better. So it makes me remember when I started my martial arts program, it’s called So Smart Kids. We help children with autism and other special needs regulate their bodies and have fun being their quirky selves, and it’s also a cool space for moms. It’s nice to see it on this end where it’s now happening and I get the support of my partner Philip Sheehy (I always gotta make sure I give credit where credit is due). We run that at Vee Arnis Jitsu in Brooklyn, NY. So if you ever hear sound behind me that is the authentic New York sound where there’s always traffic, there’s always some siren that’s passing. I’m not going to edit that out because that’s where I’m from. I’m from Brooklyn, I’m always representing Brooklyn, NY.
It took three years before I even made a goal with that project. I remember knowing that I wanted Zachary, who’s my son living with autism, at that time he was around the age of 6 or 7. He was having all this energy and I still wouldn’t have a source where he could actually release this energy, so I had to move towards finding a program. All the ones I found lacked the one thing I was really looking for for him. Most parents with kids on the spectrum, we want our kids to have more socialization skills. As a speech language pathologist and audiologist by trade, that was SO important for me because he knew how to have dialogue with me, but there was always difficulty having communication with others. So I wanted to have a program where there were others that he could socialize with, and I couldn’t find a program like that. Being the fact that I was a black belt, I thought maybe I should create something where they can have fun – I can still teach them structure, and he can start learning more about socializing with other kids. You would think this is something where I would’ve went straight into action ….. absolutely not. I held this concept in my head for about 2 to 3 years. I was going around and around with it. I actually had it way before then when he was diagnosed, and I started to think “wouldn’t it be great if I could do something like this?” But every time I thought I could do something like this, it would be that negative person – my own self saying “no you can’t, that’s crazy, that’s dumb. that doesn’t make sense.” I don’t know if you guys experience that when you have those excellent ideas, or those ideas that are just out of the box. I like to call them excellent because now I know better. I thought to myself “if I do this would they come?” I kept questioning myself, if I do this would I get others to really come and bring their kids also? Or would it just be a program just with Zachary? I knew I didn’t want it to be with just him because how is it going to be socialization if its just him??
I remembered having lunch with a friend, and she’s one of the female sensei’s in the dojo, her name is Leah. We were talking, you know we had a really rough day of class and we went to have some drinks and some food, and we were talking. I said “I have an idea and I was thinking of maybe starting a program for kids with special needs like Zachary.” And she sat and she said “wow that’s a really really great idea!” And I said, “yeah ok, you’re just saying that because you’re my friend.” She said, “no Alisha, that’s a really really good idea.” So that was the first person that actually made me feel like it was really a good idea. After a while she even mentioned who I should mention this to, Philip Sheehy, who at the time was a sensei. After speaking to him, and him having a nephew on the spectrum, he was like, “yeah let’s move forward with this, let’s go!” After running it by all these people and hearing the “yes let’s go,” that actually gave me ammunition towards moving forward with it. But before moving forward with it, there came this big, gigantic FEAR.
So I took the word fear and I acronymed it to show you how I was going through the fear then. The fear before I did my Master’s, before I got married, before I got divorced, before I did this podcast. You know this fear that keeps showing up, and showing up, and guess what, showing up again? I started to realize the F in fear meant I felt out of control. It meant I didn’t have any control over what it looked like on the other side. That’s scary when you don’t know what it looks like on the other side and you only know one side . And that side looks really, really good, and the other side is like, “oh what if they don’t like me? What if they do think the worst?”
The E was for some reason we always tend to expect the worst right? Instead of thinking they’re going to like it, our first thought is “they’re not going to like it.” I don’t know if that’s just me, because until I began to learn how to shift – and I started taking personal development classes and coaching, and really working into who I am as a person and realizing that negativity comes to me first – my first thoughts were “I’m just going to expect the worst.” That was the first thing that came up to me was that they were going to think the worst.
Then I had to realize the A in it meant that I was nervous and I couldn’t go around the growth of the next level. It was like I couldn’t go around the corner, I couldn’t see the next level, I couldn’t get to that aspect of what does it really look like? When I couldn’t see it because I was so stuck into what the negative things were that people would think, it made me want to run – that’s the R in fear. So yes, my feelings of not knowing what was around the corner, my expectations of the worst, my believing of what was around the bend was not going to be what I knew or I just didn’t have any idea, and then because of that I didn’t do it or I stayed stagnant.
These are some of the things that came up to me as I was taking the word FEAR and breaking it down. Another thing that fear really meant for me as I really began to do my self work was fear is actually faith turned backwards. Like it was not having faith, it was the total opposite of having faith. Since I’m a christian, and I’m not sure which denomination you may choose if you choose, but if you have faith in something else other than you, then you can’t stay stuck in fear because that’s the total opposite of having faith. THAT began my journey towards freedom.
FREEdom is when I started to step out, when I started to be bold. I started to learn how to follow my intentions, oh my god my intuition, my intentions, the things that I wanted. Knowing that i wanted well, knowing that my intuition will lead me right and really trusting into my intuition. Then also allowing myself to rise to every occasion. Every minute that there was a purpose instead of shrinking – and I told this story earlier how really when I began working and doing volunteer work with Motivating the Masses, which was along side Lisa Nichols and my other mentor Susie Garter, I would go in that community and I would totally shrink myself. Like I would just go, I would be quiet, and I would just take it all in. So Lisa brought it up to me and she was like, “Dr. Ali why are you always shrinking yourself? You’re always going back, back, back.” It made me realize that when I was around other people that I knew the whole world came to see, that I knew everyone knew about them, it made me want to think less of myself. And that’s not fair right? I had to start really, really, really learning how to rise to every single occasion that was given to me. Now that was a lesson and that’s an ongoing process of self work that I’m continuously working on myself.
Then instead of expecting the worst, I started learning how to expect nothing. When you expect nothing you can’t be disappointed. Just go into it, be present with it. Have fun with it like I’m doing with this podcast. Like I do when I’m looking at your reviews – which is another thing, please remember to leave your reviews and subscribe – I have fun because I stopped expecting much out of anything, I just come in and just do it because it’s just me.
In the end what freedom feels like to me is just truly embracing me. Embracing all of me, embracing everything that is just me. Now when we start to embrace ourselves, when I started to embrace myself, that’s what real freedom started to look like to me. Instead of staying stuck in fear, instead of running from things, instead of feeling anticipation and not knowing what’s around the corner and expecting the worst, and always feeling out of control … I had to start learning how to start following my intentions and my intuition. I had to learn how to rise to every occasion that was given to me. It was GIVEN to me. I worked hard for this. This didn’t just happen over night. Me having this podcast didn’t just happen over night. I worked hard for everything that came into this even through the mistakes, even through it not being perfect, I’m still here. I’m learning to have no expectations. I expect nothing. All I want too do is be present in this moment. All I want you to do is be present in this moment. And out of everything, embrace who you really, really, really are.
I appreciate you staying tuned, and listening, and watching, and just being part of the whole Dr. Ali Griffith Show. As we continue to unfold, continue to leave your rates, your reviews, your comments, and subscribe. Make sure that you’re staying part of this energy that’s going on here. Be part of this development process with me. Be part of it not being perfect. Be part of the growth that you’re going to see, to know that you were in here listening before all the other things that are coming ahead. The greatness that is ahead is so, so, so exciting to me. Now make sure you’re subscribed so you get a notification of when the next podcast is being dropped, you’re going to want to catch that. I’m also going to be posting the live from when we did my first podcast live, could you believe it?? First week into the podcast and here I am doing a live! So I’m going to post that so you can hear more about that conversation, that was SO dope. You have to subscribe so you can have access to that. Always, always, always … remember, remember, remember – you gotta stay true to YOU. Stay true to you, continue listening and unsubscribing to negativity, make sure you’re always subscribing to positivity. Out of anything else, be kind to you and all of the things you have ahead of you. It’s Dr. Ali and thank you for being part of the Dr. Ali Griffith Show!
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