by Adriana Santiago | Jul 14, 2019 | Uncategorized
What’s up, what’s up, what is up? And welcome to the Dr. Ali Griffith Show: Mindset, Meditation, and Motivation. What are some of the biggest mistakes that I see people make that affect their results? I know you’re ready to hear it, so stay tuned and I’ll go through all of the details of what are some of the mistakes that I constantly see that affects results.
So today we are speaking about results and the things that we do that we want to see, the results that we want to see, right? You get up in the morning and everyone has certain intentions and from the intentions you want to get results. Now, a lot of my clients come to me because they’re always questioning, “Dr. Ali, how is it that you are getting these fast results where you just literally started a business a few years ago and now we’re seeing you everywhere. We’re seeing, you know, constant movement and constant results,” in terms of what I’m doing, whether it’s parenting, whether it’s business or if it’s just me in general. I’ve always been a person that reaps fast results. Now what I gave you, and I can show you that in a different video or podcast, is what I have done to create the results, but I’ve never shared with you what I see that are mistakes that are people making to create the results that they want. So today we’re going to share all about some of those mistakes that I see.
Mistake #1: Doubting yourself.
The first mistake I see is first people doubt themselves. You’re constantly doubt yourself. I know for me, at the beginning when I start any new project, the first thing that comes into my mind is often “you can’t do this” or “what will happen if you fail?” or “that just sounds silly”. Like I literally talked myself out of every idea that I have before even moving, and I spent some time there. Now before in time when I was younger, when I didn’t know better, I would actually spend a very, very long real estate in there. And when I say a long real estate, meaning I have let ideas that I’ve had sit on me for one year, five year, 10 years, 20 years, even to the point where I just talked myself out of it. To where it was a great idea when it first came up, and then the self doubt came in and all the negative things came in and I completely said, “okay, well I’m not doing it because I already saw the end and the end is not exactly what I want.”
So that began to be one of the mistakes that I was doing, and what I realized when I speak to my clients and I’m helping them through their blocks, or through their not making action, is they are constantly doubting themselves. Possibly from other failures that have happened, possibly from what they’ve heard, possibly from just their own negativity that lets them question whether they can get it done, or just simply fear. So when we continue to doubt ourselves, when we continue to talk ourselves out of things, then that affects the results. Like how do they expect to get fast results if we’re going to talk ourselves out of it?
Mistake #2: Worrying too much about what others might think.
The second thing, biggest mixing mistake I see people make is they’re constantly willing to listen to others. Like they’re listening to what others say, and guess what? We’re also listening to what they don’t say. So we’re waiting to hear, “oh, that was great,” or “that was not great.” We’ll put something out there and then we’ll do the – we’ll bring our ears towards because we want to know what is it that they feel. We’re listening. We’re listening to if they say negative, and then when they say negative, we’re going to jump on that, “well you know, I did think it wasn’t a good idea,” or, “you know, maybe I did make many mistakes.” And or, we’re listening to the positive. Like we’re waiting. We’re just waiting and listening and allowing whatever they’re saying to be the primary reason if we’re continue or not continue.
Mistake #3: Expecting fast results.
The third thing, I see this too a lot, is we expect fast results immediately. Like we want Burger King right away. We want to put it out there and we want a million hits. We want to start something and reach the the final point immediately. And I had to learn that life doesn’t happen like that. Like nothing I’ve earned happens over night. When I went to do my martial arts studies, I started at white belt and I had to train and I had to go through to the next level. You know, for us it was the yellow belt, and then moving through to the next level. So there are always steps and levels and things that you have to get through – the falls, the rises, the different moments where it’s just part of the process. When I had Steve Harvey as our coach during our Act Like a Success, he said, “many people want to jump in and just take the elevator straight to the Penthouse, not realizing that you’ve got to walk the steps to get up there and that the penthouse isn’t exactly floor level two, or three, or even five or six. It’s often a huge number.” So if you want to get to the penthouse, or you want to get to your final destination and if you want results that happen faster than others, you have to expect that it’s not going to happen immediately.
And that is one of the biggest mistakes I see too often and I am guilty of that myself. You know, we’d comment from this fast paced society where everything is technologically advanced, then we want to be technically technologically advanced. Then we want to go ahead and do something and it’ll download immediately or uploaded immediately, and in reality that is just not true. And if we keep expecting – if I keep expecting it – you keep expecting for things to happen immediately, then guess what? We are going to constantly be disappointed because immediate is not the not the road too fast results. Immediate is not the road to success. What is the road is taking our time and that leads to the next biggest mistake.
Mistake #4: Failing to plan.
Another big mistake we make is we don’t plan. If you fail to plan then you’re literally planning to fail. So we have to understand where it is we want to go. Like if we’re getting into a car and we know our final destination, then we’re looking at what are some of the steps that we have to pass through or the places we have to go to get to our final destination? We don’t just jump into the car and guess what, blink we’ve arrived. That doesn’t happen. So why do you think it’s going to happen in terms of your parenting success? Why do you think it’s going to happen in terms of your business success? I had such a rude awakening when I realized that everything that I put my hands to required a plan. It required strategic action. It required not just wishing and thinking and lots of wing it. You know, like when you think you’ll just go to the store and give them a dollar and all of a sudden you’ll become a millionaire.
Uhh, reality?? That doesn’t happen to all of us. That’s like a tiny, minuscule drop of a person that that will happen too. And even for those people, those are people who may have been playing it for years now. Understanding that we need to make a plan, we need to make a plan, we need to create a plan, will allow us to start seeing whether we are moving in the direction that we want to go. It allows us checks and balances. It allowed me a place where when things didn’t go the way I wanted it to go, then I had something, a roadmap to go back and look at it and see, okay, where could I have done something different? What can I do? How do I recalculate where it is that I want to go? And having a solid plan, a strategic plan helps in that process.
Now if you don’t want to get the fast results, then don’t plan. Just get up there and just blink it away. But if you’re looking for those fast results like I am, like you are, like most families or moms with children with autism or special needs, or just moms in general who just don’t have the time – you want to make sure that you don’t make these mistakes that I have made repeatedly. Created a plan.
Mistake #5: Not getting help.
The last thing I’m going to share for you is not getting help. Like that’s a huge, huge mistake. I think that that should be like the biggest one of it all. Here we are with this “I can do it myself” attitude that I don’t need help to parent. I don’t need help to start my own business and have a successful business. Guess what? I need help. I had to learn that everything that I do, create that plan and know where is it that I’m going to need help.
When I see myself fall, when I see myself not show up the way I know I’m supposed to show up, then I get help. I have my coaches, I have my mentors, I have different people that I will reach to when I am at the lowest. I even when I’m the highest, even when I’m at the highest, I’m constantly asking for help. Because what I realized is when we ask for help, when we reach out to others and let them know, “hey, you too can be part of this process,” then we get better results. Then we get the things that we want to see happen. We see it happen even faster because guess what? If you think about it, it’s collective energy. And if I’m doing it by myself, then I’m just the only sole force of energy. If I have others that are giving me help and helping me along the way, then I have now found a way that I can have collective energy with others who believe or want the same thing, helping me towards that process.
So this is Dr. Ali Griffith’s Mindset, Meditation and Motivation show. I appreciate you subscribing. I appreciate you leaving your rates and reviews and helping us to become a success. Now don’t stay here, drop back and listen to another one of my Dr. Ali Griffith Shows. There’s so many and they can keep you moving. And if you’re at that state where you just actually need to take a pause and to breathe, then you need to take or listen to the au-meditation moments. Thank you, and I’ll catch you next time. And remember in all that you do, be au-amazing in your thoughts, your words, and in your actions.
This is a transcription of The Dr. Ali Griffith Show. If you’d like to listen to this episode and others you can do so here: bit.ly/dralishow
P.S. My nonprofit Smart Fit Fam is hosting our 5th annual Smart Fit Family Fitness Fun Day on July 28th and I’d love for you to attend! This is a free event for ALL to attend (especially special needs families!). We’ll have lots of fun activities, including limbo, potato sack races, egg and spoon races, face painting, dancing, and so many more wellness/fitness activities, games, and food. The event will be at the Wyckoff Farmhouse Museum in Brooklyn, NY from 11am-4pm. It’s totally free to attend! Check it out and get your tickets here: bit.ly/fifthfitfun
by Adriana Santiago | Jul 5, 2019 | Uncategorized
What’s up, what’s up, what is up? And welcome to the Dr. Ali Griffith Show: Mindset, Meditation and Motivation. I want to say thank you to those of you who have subscribed, who have been leaving your reviews and your ratings, and you are the reason that we are over 1.7 thousand downloads within less than two months. Let’s celebrate that, let’s celebrate that! Now, if you ever wanted to find out how to maximize your time and get the most out of those short breaks in your day so that you can keep moving to where the ultimate results, this is going to be that session for you. So grab your pens, get your thoughts together, create a little notes section in your apps, whatever is going to help you to remember some of these tips, and do that right now.
I’m super excited to share some of my tools and tips with you because I never even realized that they were tools and tips. They were just things that I did along the way and some I’ve done and I’d made huge, huge errors like, well, I’m going to give you some exact tips that I didn’t even think that they could actually result in something good because they were actually downfalls later on. Now looking back, like I was telling her class, I was training yesterday, my hindsight is my clearest site, so when I can look back and see, oh my goodness, that was actually a tool that was actually a strategy that I can use now to watch something else. It helps me to now know that it’s okay for me to go through the mess ups and the blunders and the falls, because when I look back at it and I look at the lesson learned through it, I now can use this for other things that are going to come up in my life.
Tip 1: Create a plan.
So the first tip that I use whenever I have those short moments in my day is I create a plan before the day even starts. I create a plan because it helps me to know that throughout the day I have to squeeze time in to get what I need done. And the reason why I say this is because most of you know I’m an audiologist and speech language pathologist by trade. I’m an autism mom. I run my own nonprofit organization, Smart Fit Fam. I also am a business owner for So Smart Kids, and my training and development program, which is the Dr. Alisha Griffith LLC. So trying to do all of those sometimes can feel overwhelming. And when I don’t have a plan of what I need to get accomplished for that day, I ended up just not getting anything done.
I get other stuff done, but the top things, the priorities, the things that will make me feel like a success towards the end of the day, if they’re not planned, they’re not done at all. So I know many people tell you this over and over again and you’re like, oh my gosh, I hate planning. And sometimes I just like to live spontaneously. Living spontaneously is totally cool. I am down for that all the way. However, if you want to see results, if you want to move towards a specific goal, a specific objective, a specific result that you know you are going to be happy about, you’ve got to throw in some sort of plan. And the way I plan is I just list the top three things that I need to get done for that day that would make me feel successful. So you can try this tip and then let me know how does it feel once you just reduced the 10, reduced the 15? I know we all have our to do lists, but just focus on three, and if you focus on those three, how will you feel when it is completed?
Tip 2: Pair it with something you MUST do.
The second thing that I do, and once again I stumbled into this, was I pair it with something else that I know I must do. So I think a cool example of that is I know every morning I must put Zachary onto the bus (that’s my son). He is my son with autism and we are now in the process of helping him to learn how to become more independent and go towards the bus stop and wait for the bus. However, I’ve got to get up in the morning and I’ve got to help or assist him. We’re preparing himself for the day, and preparing myself for the day. So I pair going to the gym with that because one of my top three things on my goal, yeah, my personal goal is to make sure that I get at least 20 to 30 minutes of movement and activity each day. If I can pair it with that, then great. On the days I can’t pair it with it – like if I have a meeting – I don’t take it out on myself, but I don’t get super duper angry with myself. All I do is make sure I look at it, I really evaluate it. Can I move it to another time of the day? Is there something else that I must do through this state that I can pair it with? So pairing it with something that you must do, pairing it with something that is part of your regular routine makes it more possible that you can get in those times, or squeeze in those when you can focus on your three planned goals for the day.
Tip 3: Implement a checks and balances system.
The last thing I want to say that I definitely definitely have to do is I have a checks and balance system. You know, I figured if it’s good for the zoo, if it’s good for the judicial system, if it’s good for our legislative system… then it’s got to be good for me. Right? So how I use my checks and balance system is I use two or three, two or three other things to help me to remember because sometimes my memory is really, really horrible. I don’t know if any of you guys are like me. I would plan in the morning and life would happen and things will just go array. And you know, you get caught up with the office, or you get caught up with a friend, you get caught up with unexpected things that pop into your day. And I’d create that checks and balance system of what my checks and balanced system looks like. It can be an alarm, it can be an accountability group, it can be telling a friends or a close family member.
Now what that does for me is that helps another person to check in on me. It gives that tool of the alarm to remind me and it gives my accountability teams, a group of who I have to report to either at the end of the day, at the end of the week. In my Ignite U Mastermind, which is my business coaching program, we have an accountability group where we meet up every two weeks. That helps to create a checks and balance system for the moments when life just happens, right? So if you start creating a checks and balance system, then you will have something else to remind you and it will take some of the pressure off of yourself.
So those are a few of my tips. Those are a few of the things that I go to that I try. I have done them repeatedly, and I now know this works for me. So I decided to just let you in and share it because I have so many people asking me, “Dr. Ali, I don’t get it. How do you do it? How do you do so much and still create those maximum results?” And I just stopped and I took a look back and I saw what are some of the things that I do that I know leads into me looking on the other side saying, wow, I can’t believe I got that done. I’ve got to have that structured plan. I have to pair it with something that I know it’s part of my regular routine. And I definitely have to create some sort of checks and balances system to make sure that there’s a reminder, to make sure someone is calling me or or sending me a text, or knowing that I have to report to either a coach or report to accountability group also helps to make sure I stay on the straight and narrow.
I want to thank you for just popping in and spending some time with me and using this time to shift your mindset to learn more about motivating yourself and to then go into action. Share with me how are some of the tools and tips that I’ve been sharing with you over time? How has it impacted your life? What changes have you seen? I’ve been so blessed that this week on a coaching call, I spoke to a mom and she mentioned that listening to my shows or watching the Youtube videos have been her coffee in the morning. Oh my goodness. Coffee in the morning. That’s super huge. That means I helped keep her – well, I asked her what does that mean of course. And she said, “you help to keep me going. You help me to know that I have hope. You helped me to keep moving forward.” To me, that’s priceless. So keep sharing your wins. Keep letting me know what else can I focus on and how was can I serve you? Because I want to make sure if you’re going to allot a few minutes just to allocate it, just to listen to me or watch me, then I want to make sure you’re getting the most out of your time.
I know, I sure am getting a lot out of it because there’s nothing like working through problems, working through challenges, and working through wins with other people and sharing how I do it. It helps to reinforce me, and it helps to reignite me, and it helps to recalibrate me for what is in my future. I want to thank you for watching and listening and being part of the Dr. Ali Griffith Show: Mindset, Meditation and Motivation. And I want always, always to remind you to remember to be, are au-mazing in your thoughts, your words, and in your actions.
Remember to subscribe, review, share this with your friends, and definitely let me know what are your thoughts? What do you think about what we said today? Which tip works for you? Which tip have you tried before and that you’re not too sure about? Or which one just said, oh my goodness, this is exactly what I needed to hear for the day that I have ahead, or the day I have planning moving forward? Thanks for listening and have a good day. Peace.
This is a transcription of The Dr. Ali Griffith Show. If you’d like to listen to this episode and others you can do so here: bit.ly/dralishow
P.S. My nonprofit Smart Fit Fam is hosting our 5th annual Smart Fit Family Fitness Fun Day on July 28th and I’d love for you to attend! This is a free event for ALL to attend (especially special needs families!). We’ll have lots of fun activities, including limbo, potato sack races, egg and spoon races, face painting, dancing, and so many more wellness/fitness activities, games, and food. The event will be at the Wyckoff Farmhouse Museum in Brooklyn, NY from 11am-4pm. It’s totally free to attend! Check it out and get your tickets here: bit.ly/fifthfitfun
by Adriana Santiago | Jun 30, 2019 | Uncategorized
What’s up, what’s up, what is up? And welcome to the Dr. Ali Griffith Show – Mindset, Meditation and Motivation. This is the show where you will get to actually sit back, relax and get poured into. Yes, welcome to the Dr. Ali Griffith Show where we are constantly working on our mindset. We are constantly self motivating ourselves and we’re learning something every day. Every time we listen, we always walk away learning something new. I don’t know about you, but every time I do it, I am always learning something new and I’m hoping, and my goal, my mission is that you are too. Today we are talking about keeping it real. Oooooh child, keeping it real. That is a one thing that has been a struggle for me initially, right? Because of our constant wanting to keep things to ourselves and not truly letting people into our lives. Keeping it real with something that I struggled with.
I mean, I told you for up to eight years, I walked around not really telling many people that I had a son with autism and I would hide it, or I would just not talk about it. I would avoid speaking about it or avoid going places, and it felt like I was walking around with this heavy, heavy monkey, not even monkey, like a big gigantic refrigerator on my back. because when you are – when I was, let me speak about myself – when I was trying to fit in with the Jones’s or trying to be this professional, you know, this speech pathologist and audiologist and I was helping everyone else with their child, but then yet coming home and still trying to figure out how do I even connect to my own child when I couldn’t even connect to my own self. So I was not keeping it real at all.
To me, I was walking around with a mask on and this mask felt like it was heavy makeup that I’m putting on my face. No judgment to those who wear heavy makeup, but it was just something that was just pasted onto me that didn’t feel like who I was really intended to be in the world. My work of my self discovery with doing personal development work and getting coaches and really tapping into what my fears were, what was holding me back from being myself, and then why was I so afraid of the other side of what people would say or just, you know, my own fear of just talking about it not being quote unquote “perfect” anymore? Like if I was ever really perfect, right? But in my eyes I thought I sure was. So I began this journey towards trying to find out who was the real Alicia, who was the real Ali inside of all of the circles and all of the things and all of the people that I knew.
I really wanted to just tap into who am I? And I do have a podcast, I think that was the first podcasts or the second podcast that I put forward, with who am I. Take this time now or when we’re finished, you can always go back and listen to that and hear how I came through that journey. Now as we talk about keeping it real, you know, I’m an acronym chick, so I took the word real and I just took each letter and I just let it resonate within myself to see how did keeping it real really begin to amplify my life? And it just felt like I took that huge gigantic refrigerator and lifted it up and threw it away or threw it off of me having to hold all of that on my shoulders.
So the first thing I had to do was just begin to raise my own awareness, like really tap into who I was before. Who am I when no one is watching and how can I start to let that out more often? How could I let people see the inside Ali, the one who is not always talking, the quiet one, the observant one, the one that’s really, really silly? And I started to realize that I can be a professional and just be myself. I can be Dr. Ali or Dr. Griffith and still get to bust jokes or say my words of slang because I totally enjoy just using them. You know, not to say that I can’t speak without them, but when I choose to use them, there are choice because they’re part of who I am or what just truly makes me smile on the inside. So I have to start raising my awareness of who I am when no one is watching. And then beginning to like open up the blinds a little bit of the windows and let people in, let them look into my inside world without fear of what they would think.
Now that’s the huge one, right? And we’re always going to come back to that because that’s the society. I don’t know about you, but I know I constantly use that as a barometer of whether to or not. Well, I did before, not so much anymore. So raising our awareness is key. We want to figure out how do we elevate what may not be seen as the beautiful thing, right? What may not be perceived as the perfect thing. How do we elevate ourselves with it? So for many, having a child that does different things that’s not what they want. You want a child who does what everyone else does, or you want to just start a business and the business just does immediately well. That’s not realistic because everyone has something, everyone has a challenge that they have to overcome. I don’t know what made me think that we don’t have challenges that we needed to overcome and why would I think my child wouldn’t have the same? Everyone’s challenge is just different.
So I had to start elevating the concept of what things really, really were instead of always putting it down and placing it into this depressed state. I started to elevate the thoughts of what things could be and that being different or having a business that requires additional work. Waking up early in the morning, going to bed late at night, pushing through adversity was all part of being an entrepreneur. Then I had to learn how to just accept the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I have a different podcast for this one, definitely go and find out one. But accepting the good, the bad and the ugly really helped me to just open up and take off those levels of makeup and those masks and those things that were just covering the blemishes, right? I started going live sometimes without make up, without always being put together and just allowing the world into who truly I was. And when I began to do that, besides just having the freedom of don’t need to cover up anymore or be afraid if someone truly finds out the real deal, it started helping me to just be free, walk light, put less emphasis into what others would think and hear more about what I would think.
And that began to be my process, my journey of moving through and moving towards who I truly was and letting others see that now, honestly, I realized when I became more authentic with myself when I started to keep it real, I mean really real – then I started to have many who were gravitated towards this realness, towards the authenticity of who I was. Guess what? I started to realize that people see through the fake. Anyone of you guys realize that out there? People see through the fake, they see through what’s not really real. They know the ones that are just there just for you know, the glam. They know the ones that are just there, the coaches that are just there to just make their money.
What I started to realize if my tribe, my au-mazing tribe is that what they loved about me more than anything else was my ability to show the good, the bad and the ugly. My ability to show that things weren’t always perfect. My ability to show my climb, my stride, the fact that I have to get up early in the morning to record these things while my son is sleeping because sometimes it didn’t allow me to get to the podcast recording place, or sometimes it does not allow me to do it in the evenings. But I created where I just do it when I can and accept that it’s not always going to be perfect of the perfect of the perfect. It’s the real deal. What I loved about showing my first podcast when I first came out with the Dr. Ali Griffith show and I made that big blooper, and you can go back and see it because I kept it. I actually pressed play and released my first podcast with the unedited version. God, I’m still gasping. I mean, people were able to see all the flaws of starting the podcast and of course, yes, I went back and I placed the revised version, the edited one because I did want the world to get out of it what they needed to.
It was also a lesson to me that sometimes you can’t hide the fake. Sometimes you can’t always hide what’s what the unedited version, right? And sometimes you have to let people into that unedited version so that they can appreciate at times the edited version. Or they can start and realize that I can do something also. And the unedited is also okay. It’s not what you all went to be, but it’s not so bad. It didn’t make me go in and make me not, you know, don’t make me go and throw the covers over my head and said, oh my God, I can’t put my face out anymore. Being real all the way allows you to walk through your mistakes and allows you to walk through when things are not always going your way. And it allows me to feel that I’m still being the best Ali I can.
And it doesn’t matter if sometimes it comes off with a glitch, it doesn’t matter if sometimes it comes off with an extra fuzz in it or extra static in it. It’s what the content is that matters. It’s what the true person of who I am. If you’re one of my listeners, you’re going to hear the blips, you’re going to see the glitches, you’re going to see what’s not perfect because I want you in on the REAL real, not the fake real, but the real real.
And the last l was for me to just learn how to like myself, like love myself. Love and like, cause we gotta like ourselves too. Because we’ll go around liking and liking on Facebook and liking everyone else. But do we ever stop and just like our own stuff? Pick today and just like YOU. Like go back to one of your pictures and press like. Take some time out and tell me that you like this, by the way. Use the opportunity to start pouring into your own self so that your realness, my realness, our realness can truly shine through into where we’re going.
It’s another Dr. Ali Griffith Show. I hope you are able to get the message and get what it was that you needed. Your comments matter and it really makes a difference to me when you stop, take a few minutes out and just let me know what, how this resonated with you, how you needed to hear this today, how maybe you didn’t need it to hear today. I mean, even the comment is not so good, or if it’s something where you’d like for me to get better in, leave it! I’m open to suggestions and I won’t take it personal. I’ll just know you’re keeping it real and this relationship that we have is going to be the real authentic relationship. Thanks again for listening to the Dr. Ali Griffith Show. Remember in all the that you do, be all au-mazing in your thoughts, in your words, and in year actions. Catch you next time. Peace.
This blog post is a transcription of The. Dr. Ali Griffith Show. If you’d like to listen to this episode and others, click here: bit.ly/dralishow
P.S. My nonprofit Smart Fit Fam is hosting our 5th annual Smart Fit Family Fitness Fun Day on July 28th and I’d love for you to attend! This is a free event for ALL to attend (especially special needs families!). We’ll have lots of fun activities, including limbo, potato sack races, egg and spoon races, face painting, dancing, and so many more wellness/fitness activities, games, and food. The event will be at the Wyckoff Farmhouse Museum in Brooklyn, NY from 11am-4pm. It’s totally free to attend! Check it out and get your tickets here: bit.ly/fifthfitfun
by Adriana Santiago | Jun 21, 2019 | Uncategorized
Was up, was up, what is up? And welcome to the Dr. Ali Griffith Show – Mindset, Meditation and Motivation. I’m so excited to join you again for another one of our beautiful, beautiful deposits into our soul. Before I get started, I want to thank you for subscribing. I want to thank you again for listening. Your reviews have been absolutely amazing and I don’t want you to stop now. Please continue to leave the reviews because they matter. I love reading them and making sure I learn more about what is it that you want. So let me know which one of our episodes is your favorite, which one stands out the most to you, and then what else would you like me to cover when I do another one of these episodes?
So first I want to take some time out and read this one. This one is from Erica. She said, “love this episode. The positing into your mental wealth bank is so important. I have my time in the morning for prayer, meditation and exercise all through the day. I try to be mindful of breathing. So throughout the day I take a couple of concentrated deep breaths for release, especially in moments of stress or when there are a lot of different things going on at one time.” Thank you so much Erica. I get it. I know when a lot’s going on, when the world is just moving at record speed, it’s best for us to learn how to do that when so much is going on. So I know for me personally, I love to stop, take a deep breath, move in slower motion when everything is moving at faster pace. One of my au-mazing moms who’s just taking some time out to leave your comments. I read them, I look forward to them. They’re like foods who my soul. So please, please, please, definitely leave your comments. Let me know what you’re thinking.
Now straight into our topic today. Our topic today has to do with starting starting something new. Now this is something that when I ever, when I have to think of anything that I started new, all I can think about was the fear. All I can think about was, “why did I take so long to even started?” And then I would just laugh at myself because it would be like I let what was on the other side or maybe what others who are gonna think or just the fear of the unknown, which is the first thing not knowing what is on the other side allows us to stay stuck into not trying something new.
So my comment and my wish to you is for you to start moving into trying something new. What can you do for the new day? Every day is a new start. Every day is a fresh way of beginning, a new process. What can you get started today that maybe you’ve put off for so long? Maybe you have, you know, allowed not knowing the other side to make it seem like you definitely can’t get it done. And you’ve just put it at such a far place that you just didn’t even move into starting. Today’s a new day and we’re all going to start something fresh. We’re going to start something that we’ve never thought of doing before.
So my recent start was my 21 days of mental wealth. I woke up one morning and I said, you know what? I’m going to share some of the tools and techniques that I do with people. And I did it on Facebook, which is at Dr. Ali Griffith. That’s where every day I came in and I just shared a different way that I make mental wealth deposits. And it was scary because it wasn’t something that I planned out in detail. It was just something new showing up every day for 21 days. And I don’t think showing up, but showing up with a mental wealth deposit, something that had to fill my soul, feel my mind, something that I had to use that was practical. I didn’t want to make them things that no one else can actually do, but just things that I did in my daily life or in my every other daily life that I knew were important to what has happened in my life in terms of moving forward, in terms of dealing with having a child with special needs, in terms with having multiple businesses, and just trying to operate with, with grace and ease.
So it was my responsibility to then come in and to share this. Now starting was not easy because it was a huge commitment and I was nervous that what if one day I just couldn’t share. So I just want you to take this time to realize that anything that is starting, most times that we start something we often started with a little bit of hesitation, but once we get started, it feels so good. Your responses make a difference. Others’ responses make a difference. Um, people encouraging you, letting you know that they needed this. Just like this podcast, when you leave your references – have you leave your comments? – or you leave how it is that you’re thinking. It helps me to keep on going, but if you don’t leave it, it doesn’t stop me because I have to use within my own self, my own tools to help me keep going and that’s why I take the time out just to share with you some of these tools and for you to start recognizing what tools or what strategies do you use.
Now, another thing that may keep us from even starting is what are others going to say? Oh my goodness, the dreaded, “what will others say?” has stopped so much. Right? And for me it was always my closest friends. I was always nervous of what my closest friends may say or I was always nervous with my mom or my family members would say because their opinion’s matter. I mean let’s just be real. It does matter. But if we take the time out to quiet their voices in our head, to not let them be the main source of whether we move forward or not move forward, then we begin to actually start to live our life. Aren’t you ready to start living your life and in order to live your life, I mean really, really truly live your life?
You gotta start, you gotta move out of being not moving. You gotta move out of being stuck. You’ve got to move out of being fearful. You gotta move out of the judgment of what others will say. So those are two of my coolest tips and my tips that I use with myself. The last one I would like to say is the but what if? Oh my goodness, the dreaded “but what if?” But what if ___? But what if __? Like now we can use the but what if in terms of the negative on the other side – but what if I fail, but what if no one comes? But what if it just ends up being a complete disappointment? The but what if is so strong that we tend to let this prevent us from even starting that new project or starting that new venture, that new idea, for some of us, that new business.We can’t let that come in our way anymore y’all.
What I want us to do today is I want us to do a mindset shift is instead of the “but what if?” followed by negative —> But what if I don’t start? But what if I do do well? But what if it feels really good on the other end? Like start replacing that “but what if?” with something that’s positive on the other side that it actually moves us towards where we want to go. So those are three of my super tips that I use to help me when I’m trying to figure out whether to start or not start. You know that double leg jump, double-dutch entry jump that we do. It’s like if we’re trying to get in, but we don’t know when to get in or how to get in. And then we allow all these other things to stop us. We allow the fear, we allow what others say, and then we allow the but what if negative, negative, negative.
So we’re going to start doing that and creating a new mindset, a zone for us. We’re going to start knowing that, yeah, it is unknown. That’s the beauty of life. The beauty of life is that we really don’t know if it’s going to do well or not do well, but what if we didn’t do it? Then we definitely know it doesn’t do well. Right? And if we tried it, we know that we at least did our best. Putting out best effort in it and then what others say. We can focus on what others say in terms of the negative, or we can actually focus on the few, the little ones. Like I only read two comments out of all of the comments. I could’ve focused on all of the comments, or I could have focused on that there should be more comments. (Remember to please leave your comment.) But I chose to just choose two, I chose two focus on – the ones that did leave one and I chose to give them the energy. So we have to start shifting the way we think and then shifting our actions and how we respond to things and that good old dreaded, but what if needs to be followed by, but what if and something actually positive, right? But what if we never ever go out there and start that big crazy wildest idea or dreams, and someone else does? Then we’ll sit there and say, “darn, I should’ve. I could’ve.” Get out there today and start that new concept. Start a new, start, a new blank. You get to fill it in. I get to fill it in. We all get to fill it in and we all get to truly live, truly live this life that we were given y’all.
It’s another Dr. Ali Griffith’s show. Just me sharing some thoughts. Just me letting you know what has helped me to navigate things, how I still use these tips every day to navigate through this wonderful thing we call life and it’s total unexpectancies. What I want you to do today is make sure you stop and let me know how did hearing this one feel? Did it resonate with you? Was there something that you’ve been sitting debating on whether to start, and now you now know that girl (or guy) it’s time to get into starting, it’s time to get into moving? That me not moving is actually an injustice that those out there who need what it is that I have to start in, or just the fact that staying stuck is not helping? How about I just start? How about I just give it a good ole try? So it’s the Dr. Ali Griffith Show, and I want you to remember in all that we do, in all that we do – be au-mazing in our thought, in our words, in our actions. It was a pleasure having you guys today. Make sure that you stay tuned and go listen to another one of our au-mazing mindset shifts, meditation and motivation to get through every day. Peace.
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P.S. My nonprofit Smart Fit Fam is hosting our 5th annual Smart Fit Family Fitness Fun Day on July 28th and I’d love for you to attend! This is a free event for ALL to attend (especially special needs families!). We’ll have lots of fun activities, including limbo, potato sack races, egg and spoon races, face painting, dancing, and so many more wellness/fitness activities, games, and food. The event will be at the Wyckoff Farmhouse Museum in Brooklyn, NY from 11am-4pm. It’s totally free to attend! Check it out and get your tickets here: bit.ly/fifthfitfun
by Adriana Santiago | Jun 9, 2019 | Uncategorized
This blog post is a transcription of The. Dr. Ali Griffith Show. If you’d rather listen instead of read, there are links to the episode down below!
What’s up, what’s up, what is up? Welcome to the Dr. Ali Griffith Show – Mindset, Meditation, and Motivation. I’m so excited for this next episode today y’all. We’re going to figure out how to use one of my key au-mazing strategies that I use in every aspect of my life with a breakdown happening, especially unexpected breakdowns. Before we get into that, I want to thank all of you that are subscribing, that are leaving your comments, that are leaving your messages, and that are sharing this with your friends. I so appreciate you stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something new. For all of my new listeners and viewers, welcome, welcome, and welcome. Tell me how you love it, make sure you’re visiting my website at www.draligriffith.com, and stay connected because I love to give gifts. I love to give surprises, and I love to give au-mazing tips techniques and tools that you can use throughout so many different things in your life – whether it’s being a parent, being an entrepreneur, being a professional, just being a human being. Sometimes it’s just good to hear it from someone else, someone else who’s real, someone who’s an everyday around the way girl – that’s what I like to call myself. Thanks again for joining, and let me know what you think about today’s episode.
If you have always wanted to try and figure out, how do I get through those moments where I woke up in the morning, it’s a wonderful day, everything is going beautiful and then BOOM. You get the worst news, or BOOM. Something unexpected just kicks into play and you’re like, “where did this come from? Everything was going so smooth.” I had one of those days this morning when I woke up. I started doing my meditation, everything was running smooth and then guess who, guess what impacted my day? My wonderful au-mazing gift Zachary, who is now almost 13. With him hitting these almost teenage years (because he’ll 13 in a few days) it’s that unexpected, it’s the attitude, it’s the “I’m happy one moment, and then I’m miserable one moment, and then I’m angry one moment.” This morning was one of those days where he was just not the Zachary that I know – just completely moody, mean, saying things about himself. Just saying things that I just knew that were totally out of character. And it affected me, I’ll be so honest with y’all. It totally affected me because it disrupted my pattern, my flow of starting my morning making sure I’m getting myself pouring into me, doing my meditation. You know those au-meditation moments I’ve been speaking to you about? I was so full in that zone that I could not believe that here he comes completely disrupting what was going on. Alright, so dealing with it I had to start incorporating some things that I knew I needed to do.
The first thing was I had to be still. I had to just let him go through what he was going through and not jump in to save it. Sometimes we’re always trying to jump in and save it, stop it, change them, change whatever is going on with them so we can impact whatever it is that they’re feeling… but it’s not right. If he’s having a moment and he’s disgruntled and he’s upset about something, let him have that. And I allowed him to have that. I allowed him to just voice what was going on. I started to just ask a little bit of questions so that he can clarify it and really tap into what it was that he was upset at. He didn’t even know what he was upset at, but he was at least able to show that you know, “I’m trying to get to where I’m not upset. I’m just upset that you know I feel that everything you say that I have to do.” He’s going through this stage now where he is losing his voice is what he seems to be thinking. You know, as parents we tend to overshadow our children with the things that we think they should do. I asked him, “well where exactly are you losing your voice?” And he was just like, “I feel like you know it’s your rules is what goes on.” And I said, “you know what? Let’s talk about this, and let’s try and figure out where it is that you would like to get some more say in this. Now I’m the parent, and there are some things that I am definitely not going to change. However, I’m going to be open to some of the things you’re saying and see how we can create some sort of working relationship. Because no matter what I’m your mom, you’re my son, and we need to figure this out because we are cohabitation together.” And he loved it. He was upset initially because he was like, “you’re not really going to listen to what I’m saying.” And I’m like, “yeah I’m going to listen to what you’re saying.” So after going through a few minutes of him being disgruntled and me totally in my feelings, being sad, and wondering “ok where did I go wrong as a parent?” – I don’t know if any of you guys just go through that – I just allowed him to just speak and open up his thoughts and he said hurtful things. He was like, “you know I don’t want you to be my mom sometimes.” And I’m like, “well when are those times? Tell me more about that.” Helping him to get really really in synergy with what he’s feeling and why he’s feeling those things, instead of going into MY feelings. So the first thing is let them get it out. Embrace the moments, embrace what’s happening at that time, instead of going in and just trying to shift everything immediately. Be a listener if that’s what you need to do at times. I definitely had to do that this morning, whether I liked it or I didn’t.
The second thing I had to do is even throughout that not get upset. When something is happening and you totally didn’t expect it, and he’s coming in and he’s saying all these things. Don’t get me wrong y’all, tears were coming to my eyes because it was hurtful things to hear him say and verbalize. But then I noticed that when I started to get really emotional he started to change his words and change his focus, but they weren’t being changed because he felt that way. They were being changed because he was trying to please me and I didn’t want that. I wanted to hear his truth. So I had to get myself together. I had to do self check Ali, get it together, because if you want to really tap into what’s happening right here you’ve got to disconnect a little bit and stop being so emotional. Just allow him to be and say what it is that he’s feeling so we can finally work on improving what’s going on. So I checked it. I wiped the tears, I looked away. I’m like, “ok no I’m fine,” I breathe. “Please just continue going. Mom’s ok. Tell me what it is that you’re feeling.” So check your feelings y’all. Check your emotions at the door so that you can actually process what’s going on and how, if anything, that you can reach some sort of compromise or find some sort of middle ground in between the storm or in between what has happened that may appear as a breakdown.
The last thing I want to tell you, and this was it for me. I had to really breathe and just think to myself, “you know what Ali? Rome was not built in one day, and if we can focus on thing just one thing at a time, then I believe that we can make changes.” As I began to deal with just one thing – because he had a few things, and I don’t want to just walk in and try to solve everything in one shot – but just deal with that one thing. Today that one thing was you know if you’re angry, you really gotta find another way to tell mom. Because all the explosion, all the disruption, it makes it really really hard for us to get to this point where you just tell me what it is that you’re frustrated at. Like can we reduce some of the time with the tantrum part and just let’s have open communication and let’s just talk. So that’s the one thing we focused on today. Whatever you’re going through, whenever your having those moments of overwhelm and it’s all coming into you all at once, and you’re not really clear of how exactly to deal with this or process this – all I want to tell you is just think one thing, one thing at a time.
I use those same practices when I am dealing with being an entrepreneur because as some of you know I run a business. I run a few businesses, but one of my major ones is a training and development company where I do coaching with entrepreneurs, autism moms, and special needs moms within the parenting aspect and for those that want to start creating legacy. As I’m working with them I realize that I’m dealing with the same thing and that I’m helping them through the same process – which is first receiving whatever it is that’s going on. Like you really got to own up to it and say a breakdown is happening. Like stop and identify exactly what is happening here and instead of solving it and jumping into get the answer and fix it – first SEE IT before you solve it. Then the second thing is be receptive and checking your emotions. Especially you moms, you ladies out there who the first thing is you want to get upset, you want to be angry, you want to go off, your initial response is always to defend and protect. Right? That’s what we do as human beings. But if we can eliminate that aspect and if we can just reduce our emotions just kicking in immediately (and it’ll happen), and as it’s happening identify them and just check it. I do that self check like, “ok Ali get it together. Take a deep breath, let’s get through this.” Self check the emotions and then know to yourself you’ve got to start understanding that you can’t solve everything in one shot. Solutions can be multitudes of them, and if you attack all of the problems and you use all of the solutions at once it just becomes one big mess. One blob of mess because you’re trying to do this and do that, and do this and do that, all at once. One thing at a time. Get better at one thing at a time. Create a strategy one thing at a time, and then you’ll be able to process it and really really see is it working, is it not working? It gives you a chance to give yourself permission to breathe. Oh my god, you don’t know how I needed to hear that. How I needed to hear that I have to give myself permission to breathe, that I’ve got to check my emotions at times (because sometimes I really really want to go straight up in there), and that I have to understand that I can’t do it all in one shot. One thing at a time, solving one situation applying one new strategy, trying one more thing is what has worked in my past. If I continue to just tap back into that and continue to use it then I know success will happen and results will get better and get done faster, because we’re going deep and wide.
Y’all this was another Dr. Ali Griffith Show – Mindset, Meditation, and Motivation where, if anything, I want you to do out there: please make sure you’re subscribing, make sure you’re sharing with your friends. Congratulations! We have reached over 1,000 downloads as of this date. It’s been fun just talking and sharing with you, and inviting you into my world where you too can use some of the practices that I use everyday, some of the lessons that I’ve learned, some of the problems and drama that I’ve faced, you can know that you’re not alone in this, and me just helping US to become better people each week. Make sure you stayed tuned and listen in on Friday, next Friday. Friday’s are the days when I drop all the new releases. If you’re subscribed you’ll get it immediately, so definitely, definitely, definitely that is the point of subscribing. You want to make sure to share this with your friends so that you can have conversations about becoming better. You can always stay in that space of growth, – not in that space of being less, and being less, and being less – and taking in everything. Remember in everything that you do: be au-mazing in your thoughts, in your words, and in your actions. Thanks for joining another Dr. Ali Griffith Show. See you next time!
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