An Interview with an Autism Parent: Week 2

by | Aug 3, 2018 | Parenting with Autism

I work to create support groups and coaching for families who have children on the spectrum. Being an Autism myself, I understand the struggles, and obstacles that sometimes may come with parenting a child on the spectrum. I have also recently written a book,  #1 Best Selling AU-MAZING GIFT: A Journey to Autism Acceptance. 

This past month, I have had the pleasure of interviewing some Au-mazing moms from all over the world to get an idea of what their experiences have been like. I find that when we can connect through each other’s experience, we can also find ways we can help each other.

This week, I spoke with Au-mazing Parent Jamila Tucker-Mulero. Here is her story: Jamila Tucker-Mulero

 

What were the first signs/symptoms you child has Autism?

Non-verbal and no eye contact.

 

What was your first reaction to your child’s “Autism” diagnosis?

I felt like the world just stopped and fell on my shoulder.

 

If you could give one piece of advice to another parent what would it be?

Do your research and educate yourself. Take a deep breathe and know you can get through it.

 

What is one of the hardest parts about being a parent of an Autistic child?

Seeing my child wanting to make friends and play, but the other kids do not want to play with him and he doesn’t understand why.

 

What is one the most rewarding part about being a parent?

Seeing my child/children grow and so improvement in their lives.

An Interview with an Autism Parent: Parenting Advice

by | Jul 27, 2018 | Parenting with Autism

I work to create support groups and coaching for families who have children on the spectrum. Being an Autism myself, I understand the struggles, and obstacles that sometimes may come with parenting a child on the spectrum. I have also recently written a book,  #1 Best Selling AU-MAZING GIFT: A Journey to Autism Acceptance. 

This past month, I have had the pleasure of interviewing some Au-mazing moms from all over the world to get an idea of what their experiences have been like. I find that when we can connect through each other’s experience, we can also find ways we can help each other.

This week, I spoke with Au-mazing Parent Shantea Lankford. Here is her story:

 

What were the first signs/symptoms you child has Autism?

I have 2 children with Autism, both presented a little different. My daughter was always different from birth, she did a lot of headbanging at a really early age. At around 2 years we noticed she couldn’t follow directions, wasn’t answering really to her name and daycare brought up that she did not play with her peers. My son started off developing well, answering his name, trying to sing, and pointing. Suddenly it stopped and it was always frustrating and was not speaking at all.

 

What was your first reaction to your child’s “Autism” diagnosis?

For my daughter it was really like the stages that you go through with grief, I went through them all. However, I am in an education mode right now. My son, I was taken by surprise and the manner of timing was even earlier for him. I took it a lot harder with him.

 

If you could give one piece of advice to another parent what would it be?

I would say that you should always try to keep a fresh mind even though it is hard to do with all the responsibilities. However, even if it’s the 5 minutes in the shower take that time to recuperate.

 

What is one of the hardest parts about being a parent of an Autistic child?

The hardest part would be the not knowing their thoughts and feelings. Definitely, for my son who does not speak at all, we have communication devices but I would not know if he is harmed or emotionally hurt by someone.

 

What is one the most rewarding part about being a parent?

My time to learn my children and get to know them is slowed down a bit. So we have a lot of celebration for the things that we otherwise to take for granted.

Parenting with Autism: Reality Check

by | Jul 11, 2018 | Parenting with Autism

 

This month is all about independence – more specifically on how to move your child towards independence and open communication.

This week we are talking all about REALITY CHECKS. Being real with yourself, being able to look back at and see what past things that your child has made progress in. The reason why it’s important is that before we can move forward and know where we want to go, we sometimes have to look back on the past and see where they were. Identify some of those areas where we have wanted to see growth, and look back and see how far our child has come in those areas. How they have made some progress in those areas.

I always think back to when  Zachary couldn’t have a conversation back and forth with me. So before I could move forward and continue to ask him for what I want NOW, I need to first take a look at the past and just praise the past, and know what he’s been through and see where’s he’s come. Past Progress Check.

Then look at the current level. Where we are right now. What is that your child is able to do? What is your child not able to do? Do a quick reality check so you’re not thinking, or verbalizing more than what’s really happening. We sometimes get a bit overzealous, sometimes we get so controlling of the situation, we think they are achieving less than what they’re actually doing. So we miss out on a lot. So take some time out, and appreciate and write down where their current level is.

Next, we want to look at our objectives. Where do we want them to get to? Not by next year, but by the end of this week even. Identify some nice, short-term goals. Let me know what that one thing is that you’re working on this week. Sometimes we always look at that end of the race, and we’re not seeing the different milestones and checkpoints we need to pass through to get to that end of the race.

This week we’re going to have a REALITY CHECK. We’re looking at the past, where they currently are and start placing our steps for what’s coming next.

 

 

Traveling Tips for Autism Parents

Traveling Tips for Autism Parents

by | May 10, 2018 | Parenting Resources, Parenting with Autism

Traveling can be daunting for EVERYONE let alone parents. Parents with children on the spectrum can face additional challenges when being presented with a new location, new faces, and loud environments, but this shouldn’t stop you from enjoying your trip! Today I’m going to talk to you about my experiences and some tips to make traveling with your child easier.

I started traveling with Zachary way before he was even one year old. I would say he was probably between 6-9 months old. I started implementing a lot of rules and tools WAY before I knew he was even on the spectrum. AS I learned, I had to modify and make it even clearer.

Step One: PLAN

We need to know where we’re going, how exactly will this trip be? Identify what method of transportation you will be using. Are you going to take a train, plane etc. Once you have identified this, next comes to how are we going to make this possible? For me, I always book Zachary on late night flights or later in the evening because I knew he would sleep during those times. So finding that time when your child is most calm will work best for you.

You will also want to schedule and let the airline know that you are coming with a special needs child. You can contact the airline ahead of time and let them know ahead of time and TSA officer will come in and guide you to prevent going through the long lines and allow you to go through the process MUCH easier. Some travelers with disabilities find it useful to notify the airport so that they can arrange any assistance ahead of time.

Part of the planning is making sure that are using as many tools as you can so that what you have ahead of you is as seamless as possible. The more you plan, the better the results will be.

 

Step Two: PREPARE

Part of the preparation is getting all of the tools you need together. What activities will they need on the plane to keep them busy? Can you give them a book or read a book or use social stories to help them to know about the process of traveling? Let them know that you will be going on an airplane. These are some of the rules. You can even imitate what this looks like in your home. You can show this using a computer or other technology letting them see what that process will be like. Let them know they will be going to an airport, let them know they will get on an airplane, let them know they will be going through a metal detector.

Zachary and I used to practice “walking like a soldier” because he used to try to walk and rub into the corners which would set it off.

Also, allow PLENTY of time. You never know what may happen, long lines at the airport, a tantrum going through security, a potty break in line. Make sure you allow yourself enough time for any potential roadblocks in the way.

You will also want to double, triple check your bags! Did you pack all the activities you need for them? Remember to keep medications and valuables in your carry-on so you know you’ll have them.

Call the airline in advance. Call the airline ahead of time (at least 72 hours in advance) to let them know that you will be traveling with a child with special needs. Depending on the special need, agents may guide you through security and even settle you on board the plane in front of general boarding to avoid any mishaps. They can also arrange for a wheelchair if a family member can’t walk all the way to the gate, or extra assistance for those who are traveling alone with their special needs child.

Put on loose-fitting clothing for you and your child. You will want to make sure to avoid setting off any metal detectors along the way and making the security lines as easy a process as possible, so make sure your child is wearing shoes that are easy takeoff. I also tend to wear fewer layers if possible (obviously not in winter) or take off the coats and jackets and put them in a bag before you get in line for security so you’re not stalled in line. Fewer carry-ons can cut down on the stress factor.  There are lines specifically for special needs that typically accommodate families as well. Follow these links for TSA family and special needs details.

TSA Pre-Check Expedited Screening can also be helpful.

 

 

So you want to plan and prepare these things by letting them know ahead of time and letting them practice. Even pack headphones, you’re going to be a noisy airport, you may be around a lot of people, you want to make sure you give them as many tools. IPADs, favorite toys. I always bring Zachary’s trains and books. and playdoh. Snacks, beverage and games and activities that will keep them busy.

 

STEP 3: Proceed to get it DONE!

We have put it off for too long. Too many of us are out there planning on these trips but somehow not doing it. I talked to one of my clients, who is 12 years, and they have not yet traveled with their child. You won’t know until you do it! So proceed to get it done! You may need to start with a shorter trip, just to see what that looks like.  Or you may just need to practice some of these techniques. Don’t let Autism stand in your way!

Additional Resources:

Family Travel and Autism:

Time for Everyone to Have Fun!

www.autismtravel.org

Medical Travel, Inc.

The Disability Travel Experts

www.medicaltravel.org

Travelers with Children with Disabilities and Medical Conditions – What Parents and Guardians Should Do

Transportation Security Administration ( See Attached Video )

Amtrak: Services for People with Disabilities and Special Needs

Information for individuals with disabilities looking to ride the train.

Autism on the Seas

Group and individual vacation options

for adults and families dealing with autism

and related disabilities.

Autism Adventure Travel

Travel Services for special needs families. Our Specialists will plan your vacation itinerary or can book you on one of our great vacations all with your special needs in mind.

Let’s Talk: Behavior

by | Mar 14, 2018 | Parenting with Autism

 Dr. “Ali” Alisha Griffith is an Autism Mom, Communication Expert (Audiologist and Speech Pathologist), Best Selling Author, IGNITE Coach and Transformational Speaker and Trainer. She provides coaching to teach individuals and caregivers how to become effective listeners, foster stronger relationships and get ignited and focused. Her best-selling book can be purchased by clicking here.

-Are you questioning whether outbursts are OK?

-Are you dealing with behavioral issues at school?

-Is your child not wanting to get off the bus?

-Are you dealing with biting, kicking, screaming?

Do these behavioral challenges sound familiar to you?

As parents, we have to face many behavioral challenges. From tantrums to biting, to kicking and screaming, it’s not uncommon to see these challenges as an Autism parent. Today, I want to discuss how you can use communication to deal with behavioral challenges and issues at home.

As my child, Zachary is getting older we are dealing with unique challenges at this stage than when he was younger. You may find that behavioral challenges will change at different stages of the game, and this is why it’s important to understand how to deal with them.

The first step to addressing the challenge is deciding what exactly you are working on. What behavioral challenge are you working to improve? Write it down now.

My current challenge I’m facing with Zachary is using the word “shut up”. He’s now 12 years old and he’s now beginning to test the limits where he can use certain words. He hears the word shut up from his peers, from TV programs, and out in the neighborhood, all indicating that it’s maybe sometimes “OK” to use this word, despite my telling him that it’s definitely not OK to use with other people and one another.

He’s feeling himself, he’s at that point where he’s questioning when to use it and when not to use it. So as his mom, an Autism parenting strategist, that’s exactly the identified goal we decided to work on for the last 4-6 weeks.

Identifying the behavior you want to change is the first step in fixing that behavior. With the behavior I’m working on, I worked on reducing words that he knows are not OK and made him more conscious about when it comes out of his mouth, to provide alternative words to use instead.

Until you are clear about the behavior you are working, you are going to be grasping at straws to get results.

Did you write it down? Write down your goal for today, this week, this month!

2) Deal with consistency and repetition. If this is the behavior you don’t want your child to do, then you have to target your responses accordingly.

Write down consistency! Because if you are not consistently dealing with the action and not consistently dealing with alternative ways of responding when they are using that action.. that hand… those words…they’re going to feel like sometimes it may be OK. That state of confusion can lead to them testing those boundaries often and thinking it’s OK.

At times you may need help from a behavioral therapist or pathologist to address a very specific pattern. Remember, these tools are very general, and unique issues have unique ways to handle them.

Every child is different, but you can set up a time to speak to me about your unique challenges and create a plan where communication and behavior work hand in hand to deliver results.

3) The last tip involved making sure that we have a reward afterward. Every time your child is not doing the bad behavior, make sure your rewarding them and proactively acknowledging the good behavior.

Whenever Zach goes through a day where he prevents himself from saying the word, I say “good job”. He’s practicing not saying the word. It can be something as simple as a high five, a reward or acknowledgment. Part of behavioral management and treatment is giving them alternatives things to do. If they like to hit, give them something else to do with their hand. Teach them where else to use it that is better than hitting their peers or you. What else can we do with our hands when we’re frustrated? A stress ball? Playdoh? Boxing? Give alternatives so they know using their hands to hit is not an option, but there are some positive ways to use them.